Site of the writer Andrew Wood

Posts tagged ‘depression’

Secrets of Arkana Fortress Release Date

Hi all,

I hope this post finds you well.

As you can tell from the title of the blog post, I have set a release date for the novel. It will be on October 10, 2 weeks after my 29th birthday. Happy times ahead! This will give me enough time to get a pair of fresh eyes to go over the book, as well as get the cover art done for it :-)

I know I have been absent a lot over the past year or two, but I’m now very fed up with my own procrastination and levels of depression that have plagued me for years. It’s time to take this by the proverbial, and get it over and done with.

I will be self-publishing via Amazon Kindle Direct, as I have had no luck in finding suitable publishers (I think I wasn’t looking hard enough!). Anyway, I am looking forward to finally being able to call myself a published author :-D BIG SMILES!!!

Here is the link to the Facebook event – feel free to join! Secrets of Arkana Fortress Launch Party Link

I will reinvigorate myself and churn out a lot more. I will also put more effort into networking with all of the lovely people on Twitter and Facebook.

Take care everyone

Returning Flash Fiction

Here is a flash fiction – the first I have written in a long time. Enjoy!


Flash Fiction – Intensity

I look down upon the jade surface; it’s many slender soldiers pointing up at the sun, yearning for action. One stain of crimson, a second… and a third. What is this? I glance to my right hand, seeing the hardened edge of the Reaper’s touch in my grasp. A whirling sense of regret ebbs through the tunnels of my heart as I realise the events of moments past.

Things were once so sweet and intoxicating I could not resist the allure of the embrace – a lover’s embrace. I had lived in pure bliss, if not but for a moment amidst the eternity of the cosmos, and I did not want for anything else. The abrupt flash of her final image haunted my waking moments; leading that coffin to where it was to be last seen by all who loved her; breaking down as I ran my finger along its edges after placing it down – there was then an emptiness that nothing would ever fill up no matter how willing my soul was.

What lay before me was the thing I had grown to hate, the person whom I had learned from a young age to be my worst enemy. I stared wearily into the face, twisted and strewn with inexplicable pain and anguish – a mere reflection of some of my own torment. His stature was flowing in its resting place; the intense blue eyes still living, burrowing into me with a piercing look of resolve and disbelief. Something was stirred within me from this moment of timelessness – why are you doing this? You are killing me, and yet you are the one who has culminated from these feelings? If you do not stop…

I realised then that I stared into my own eyes, trying my damnedest to be the saviour of my own existence.

He pleaded… I pleaded.

In A Dark Place

I have been in and out of a dark place for months. I have been absent both mentally, and physically. I have not been looking after myself in these ways either. Sometimes things are easy, but then a few moments later they are not. I still yearn to become what I feel I can easily be; but when I sit in that seat, grip the steering wheel, and turn the keys in the ignition… nothing happens. I have been sitting in that driver’s seat for a long time. I am starting to re-develop the urge to open up, and have a look at the engine in an attempt to get the damn thing running.

I know many will not have even noticed the absence, but to those who have done; and who have messaged me; I thank you :-)

Depression Awareness – A Slice Of Me

The cold winter sun bleeds through the curtains in the morning, rousing me from an alcoholic slumber. I grumble with a dry throat and cover my face with my forearm in a futile attempt to block it out. Sounds of clinking beer bottles and the scraping of empty cans along the wooden floor was followed by a hungered whimper and a nuzzling at my elbow. I glanced out and saw Harry, my soppy old black Labrador, wagging his tail halfheartedly at me.

“You want something to eat, Harry boy?”

He barked, understanding that I knew what he wanted. I rolled slowly onto my side and looked across the floor – a sea of bottles, cans, dog ends, and pizza boxes. I reached for one of those boxes and found some pizza still inside, barbecue bacon I think. I slid the box at Harry and continued to doze on the sofa. He didn’t make much noise as he cautiously sampled the cold meal. I knew something like that wasn’t good for him, but I really didn’t care at that point.

Where was the remote for the stereo? Ah, I was lying on it. I pushed a few buttons and stuck on something heavy; the lyrics suddenly echoing my mind as I listened to them.

“My mind is a cage, trapping my every thought and emotion. Will this ever end? Will this ever die? If it goes on then I will be the one to die. It is like a battlefield inside, my hopes and dreams like soldiers – dead and scattered, never to be reborn. Someone help me; someone kill me!”

I cried myself back to sleep, the whole time aware of the pain and torment that clouded my mind.

I woke up later on in the day and shuffled my way into the shower. It was hot and somewhat refreshing; maybe the scalding heat would melt my troubles away. It was there that I questioned myself like I always do: Why am I so depressed? What the hell has caused this? I have nothing to be depressed about – I have a wonderful job, lovely fiancee, and we’ve recently moved into our own house… so what the actual fuck?!

I don’t think about ending my life; I don’t think about anything. My mind is so fuzzy and clouded, and has been for countless years. I don’t get excited, happy, or bothered over anything anymore. Sometimes I think I have just died inside and what walks around is just an empty husk that feels the remnants of the suffering my soul has been ravaged by. I want to be happy, and I know I have things to be happy about, but telling myself this never does any good. I think I am destined to drink and eat myself into a state where I fall over dead from a heart attack. Even though this scares me, it does promise some essence of peace.

#Walkcast Number Four – Weather, Water, Changes, Relationship!

Here is #walkcast number four! ENJOY!

Andy Wood – Walking Vlog #1

Here it is people. Hope someone enjoys it! Special shout-out to Lisa and Buddy for this!


I don’t know what to say or do. How do you explain something that even you don’t understand or comprehend? I just feel like scratching my brain out of my head and trading it in for a new one just so I don’t have to feel like this. I want to scream. I am so angry, but I don’t know why. I feel like running away, taking my partner with me so she can get away from things too. I’m mentally restless, yet physically exhausted. I’m severely depressed, yet I should be happy. So what is it? I need to know! Maybe it’s physical? Mental? Or both… I need help, but I am unable to ask for it – I hate asking for help. However, it’s at that stage where I’ve had to admit that I need professional help now. It’s strong and out of control now…


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