I don’t know what to say or do. How do you explain something that even you don’t understand or comprehend? I just feel like scratching my brain out of my head and trading it in for a new one just so I don’t have to feel like this. I want to scream. I am so angry, but I don’t know why. I feel like running away, taking my partner with me so she can get away from things too. I’m mentally restless, yet physically exhausted. I’m severely depressed, yet I should be happy. So what is it? I need to know! Maybe it’s physical? Mental? Or both… I need help, but I am unable to ask for it – I hate asking for help. However, it’s at that stage where I’ve had to admit that I need professional help now. It’s strong and out of control now…
Posts tagged ‘andypwood’
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,400 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.
Firstly a very merry Christmas to you all
This post will be introducing you all to a lovely lady from London in the UK called Becky Elizabeth Searson, a paranormal romance and dark fantasy writer.
I first found Becky via her author page when it popped up on my Facebook as a suggested page to like. I hit the like button and we eventually got talking. She recently teased her many fans with extracts from her début novel – the first in a trilogy.
Here is Becky’s Facebook author page introduction:
I’m 20 years old, and I have had a passion for writing ever since I can remember! When I was 4 years old, I wrote my first proper story which was chosen to be read out in front of my entire school during assembly (eep!). That was the moment I knew I was going to be a writer.
I am currently working hard on my début novel, which is the first book in a Trilogy, with novellas planned to be released alongside them, I write Paranormal fantasy and Dark romance, aimed at the older-end of YA.
When I’m not writing, you’ll probably find me reading, hanging out with my fiancée gaming (yes – I’m a total nerd!) or doing my amateur photography. I also love cooking and watching movies that make me cry!
If you would like to know about me, or my writing, feel free to zip me a message, via my page, my email or my twitter (All of which are linked here on the page).
Happy reading and writing guys, and may I say thank you SO much for your support. Every like is a step closer to me achieving my dreams!
Her first teaser was posted up on December 10.
Teaser Number ONE:
“I awoke with a start, drenched in cold sweat and breathing heavily. My body ached, a bone-deep agony that clung to every sinew of my being. I frowned, struggling against some sort of restraint that was preventing me from removing the stray hair from in front of my eyes. I tried to squint through it, tilting my head to the side until my fringe fell back into the tangled mess that was the rest of my hair. What was this? Was I really dead? A horrifying thought bubbled to the surface of my mind; was this Hell? I shuddered, crippled again by the realisation that I still had no idea who I was…who I’d been. Maybe…maybe I deserved this. Goose bumps peppered my arms as I wondered what I could have possibly done in life to deserve an eternity of pain and despair. I could almost hear the cogs whirring in my brain as my mind churned through a tangle of thoughts and emotions, all of it melding – changing – into a burning inferno of confusion… and guilt. I was a bad person. Or at least, I had been.
I didn’t feel relieved; I didn’t feel the weight of my confusion lift. The thought wasn’t a welcome one; I felt my whole being instantly rebelling against the idea. And not just because it was hard to accept – hard to believe – but because in my gut I knew it was wrong. How could I be dead when I felt so… alive? The throbbing pain in my arms was all too real, and despite feeling more confused with every passing moment, I was intact.
I definitely wasn’t dead.
So then where was I? Scrunching my eyes closed, I willed myself to find my way through the fog – to remember.”
Some fantastic work, eh? Here’s number two!
Teaser Number TWO: (Warning: Contains Explicit language, proceed at your own discretion).
“How do you know me, Kieran?” I squared up to him, jabbing my finger into the solid mass of his muscled chest as I half-spoke, half-screamed, my voice shaking with rage. I was angry at myself for not remembering, angry at him for lying to me. “I wish everyone would stop fucking lying to me – look at me! Do I look like a child to you? Do I?” The power I heard in my voice was unnerving, but I didn’t back down. I crossed my arms as I waited, my sudden burst of energy, and rage-fuelled confidence seeming to wane, leaving me exhausted once again. I stood my ground though – never once taking my eyes from his. He squirmed, appearing unsurprised – grimacing as he shifted his weight, clearly struggling to find the words.
“Amber, you have to believe me when I say that this isn’t easy for me to explain, I-I really think you need some more time to–“I cut him off before he could finish, my lips pressed firmly together. I was sick off not knowing, sick of having the answers kept from me.
“Time?” I screeched, fully aware that I was being unreasonable but too angry and hurt to care, “Was that supposed to be funny? Because I’m really not seeing the joke here! It’s been over a month since I woke up Kieran. And all that time, I’ve been searching for myself, trying to remember – to figure out who the hell I am! I still don’t even know why this happened! And why is that? I’ll tell you why: It’s.Because.Fucking.Nobody.Will.Tell.Me.Anything.” I finished, spitting each word as if it were a sentence of its own, talking through gritted teeth.
I hope you are all enjoying her work so far! I know I am If all this hasn’t been enough for you all to be convinced of her obvious talent and diverse thinking, then here is a promo picture for her main characters ‘Ambrosine Carlina Valente’ and ‘Kieran Eoghan O’Connor’:
Some epic stuff!
If you want to network with Becky you can find her on her Facebook author page - https://www.facebook.com/BeckyElizabethSearsonAuthor
You can also find her on Twitter - https://twitter.com/BeckyElizabeth3
I hope you have enjoyed this Christmas post and give Becky a look Tell her I sent you!
Here is installment number 14. Enjoy
Flash Fiction #14 – Futility
With a slip of the fingers, a jerk of the wrist, I let go of the glass in my hand. My mind is full of it – the flashes of memories that are alien to me. As the crystal-cut tumbler shatters into hundreds of shards, my eyes roll back as the darkness consumes me once again. Always and eternally I shall battle on with such a force roaming around in my head.
I see his face leering at me through the mist, his grumbling laugh a white noise. His teeth are yellowed and his hair receding back up his wrinkled forehead like the outgoing tide. I see my slender hand reaching out, blood dripping down it. But the hand is not mine. I have no control. The hand is batted to one side and the all too familiar glint of a blade twinkles in the powerful sunlight, its hardened steel dark with death.
‘Softly, softly,’ a voice whispers, creepy and cold, into my ears. It fills my head with a chilling wind, the depth of a fresh snow weighing my thoughts into pacification.
A gasp leaves, what I take to be, my throat as the weapon slowly, painfully, slices my neck. My memory shouts and screams inside its own head to fight back but something smothers it like a pillow, foul tasting and rife with acid.
Choking, aching, crying – I feel it consume me.
An echo of the memory calls to me – ‘Free me. Free yourself.’
I shoot upright, the floor cold and hard beneath me. I am alone and shivering. I huddle my arms around myself and hold as much as I can.
What am I to do? Is this me? Who else could it be? Why can I not remember?
Yet again I sob, just like I have done every night for the past 12 years…
So… here is my stop on Junying’s wondrous blog tour to celebrate the release of her newest book ‘Land of Hope’.
Land of Hope Blurb
Every year, millions of illegal immigrants cross borders in search of wealth, happiness and a life of ease in the Land of Hope. Some succeed. Others suffer unimaginable hardships.
When Jack Gordon, Inspector in the SCS (Serious Crime Squad) hires Pearl Zhang, a professional Chinese interpreter, they join forces to fight injustice in the corrupt underworld of international crime, human trafficking and sexual exploitation.
Pearl is the voice of broken dreams, translating raw, deranged, and colourful tales of those who cannot speak for themselves. As Pearl gets more and more tangled in the lives of strangers, Jack becomes a welcome diversion, complicated by the fact that both are married. Their trans-continental roller-coaster ride derails when Pearl tumbles into the sinister world of her clients, a world full of secrets, lies, and unspeakable violence – only this time, it’s directed at her.
Can she depend on Jack? Find out in this third and final book of Junying Kirk’s “Journey to the West” trilogy.
Does it sound tantalising enough just by reading that? Here is my review of the book
A Close Dose of Reality
Having not read the first two books, I went into this with a fresh head and without any idea about the recurring characters featured, such as Pearl and Andrew. Needless to say I was a virgin to this trilogy!
Land of Hope delves into a cruel, sinister and very much darkened world of human trafficking and prostitution. Dr Pearl Church meets a variety of characters from her native China along the way, in her interpreting role, and finds out things about their lives that would make anybody’s skin crawl… it certainly did with me!
Junying’s masterful use of the English language sucks you into the lives of these unfortunate people, giving you a raw insight into the world of international crime as well as the hardships that they face. To them their only hope is to do whatever they can to escape the cruel and tough life they have left behind and seek out new lives in the ‘Land of Hope’ that is the United Kingdom.
I went into this book with knowledge that there was a dark and gritty back drop but I was still shocked at what I discovered as I went from one page to another. Regardless of such gloom, I never had an issue with reading about such things or neither did I feel that it was too much. A genre such as this is something I have never read before and to find myself immersed in this world with such ease is, in my opinion, the sign of a top quality writer – Junying can pull anyone into this world and guarantee a worthwhile experience.
The book mixes all these harsh reality checks with a passionate love affair that is more than enough to please any reader. Pearl and Inspector Jack Gordon venture into realms of forbidden pleasure when their paths cross when her talents of interpretation are required. The speed at which these two characters become entwined conjured up three apt words in my mind – ‘Spontaneous Sexual Combustion’. The instantaneous heat between them was such a hook for me to be caught up on.
The entire book took me on one journey to the next with deep and insightful views into the pasts and backgrounds of every character, all of whom interlace to make a dark, yet satisfying tapestry that is no doubt the crowning achievement of the trilogy. It all spirals towards an ending that is undeniably bittersweet, but to find out why you will have to venture forth and read the book for yourselves. *Hint hint*
I have thoroughly enjoyed participating in this blog tour and reading and reviewing Junying’s book. All I hope now is that she honours me with another culinary delight hehe.
Tomorrow’s stop will be at http://katysozaeva.blogspot.co.uk/ for an interview of the lady herself as well as an exciting give-away! Make sure you do not miss it, people!
Thanks for stopping by!
I have finally crept my way up to and past 100,000 words on my novel! Dead pleased that I have managed this much. It’s taken me a long time but only another 20,000 to go roughly.
I am a happy Andy!